Shall I Stay~ Chapter 1

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Tuesday, July 15, 2014
Chapter 1 continued

I have been here in Wales since July 1st. Today would be different…This morning I felt rather apprehensive about my day. My only certainty is that I’m sure of is I would have a shower, getting out of bed and waking earlier than normal. I am already hearing Jim making tea and arousing about and wondering what my outcome would be. but why should I stay or should I go…

Can I leave this place I love this; feeling maybe I could stay longer and maybe I could get my own place. I was thinking that I cannot keep sucking off Jim and I know it’s not right. There is no more generous person then he has been and is being. maybe I am not intruding…

Maybe he wants me here. I don’t really want to leave any way whom I kidding maybe belong here shall I stay down cracking up, stop being a baby; whats at home anyway, but sitting on my ass and whining about when and how much I miss him I am a stupid ninny; pick it up and get your act in gear and go after what you want stop crying and listen up.

Just be glad for today, let it work itself out and see where it goes. It’s Heaven hear compared to the hell back at home. Maybe he will let me stay….Shall I stay; I will stay, I will stay.

~ to be continued

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